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IT
GETS BETTER
Suicide Prevention
Project
Renowned columnist Dan Savage launched the It Gets Better suicide prevention project for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered, two-spirited, queer, and intersex youth bullied in high school and intolerant communities.
It’s hard to feel isolated in a cliquish social setting with bigots and bullies, but once you leave you can find acceptance in new communities, meet friends and lovers, and live a great life.
Dan and his partner Terry started the video series with their own stories of being bullied (“things got better the day I left high school”), and invite others to upload their own to YouTube. The It Gets Better Project now has dozens of inspiring videos about how people left behind the bigots, and are glad they didn’t give in to suicidal despair.
LINKS:
It Gets Better Project
President Barack
Obama: It Gets Better
Broadway Sings for
the Trevor Project: It Gets Better
The Trevor
Project: It Gets Better
It Gets Better
YouTube Channel
It Gets Better
Project: Comments From MTV Logo Staff
It Gets Better
Project: Comments From Jewel
Harry
Potter Star Supports Trevor Project
Glee Star Supports Trevor Project
Advocate: Dan Savage Aims to Save LGBT Kids
Psych Central: It Gets Better Project
Sean Chapin Sings:
It Gets Better
LGBT Youth Suicide:
Give a Damn
Project For Awesome: Suicide Note (Language Warning)
LGBT SUICIDE
Important Facts and
Statistics
In the United
States, more
than 34,000
people die by
suicide each
year (Centers
for Disease
Control and
Prevention, CDC
2007).
Suicide is the
third leading
cause of death
among 15 to
24-year-olds,
accounting for
over 12% of
deaths in this
age group; only
accidents and
homicide occur
more frequently
(National
Adolescent
Health
Information
2006).
Suicide is the
second leading
cause of death
on college
campuses (CDC
2008).
For every
completed
suicide by a
young person, it
is estimated
that 100 to 200
attempts are
made (Youth Risk
Behavior
Surveillance
Survey 2003).
Lesbian, gay,
and bisexual
youth are up to
four times more
likely to
attempt suicide
than their
heterosexual
peers
(Massachusetts
Youth Risk
Survey 2007).
More than 1/3 of
LGB youth report
having made a
suicide attempt
(D’Augelli AR -
Clinical
Child Psychiatry
and Psychology
2002)
Nearly half of
young
transgender
people have
seriously
thought about
taking their
lives and one
quarter report
having made a
suicide attempt
(Grossman AH,
D’Augelli AR - Suicide
and Life
Threatening
Behavior
2007)
Questioning
youth who are
less certain of
their sexual
orientation
report even
higher levels of
substance abuse
and depressed
thoughts than
their
heterosexual or
openly LGBT-identified
peers (Poteat
VP, Aragon SR,
et al –
Journal of
Consulting and
Clinical
Psychology
2009)
LGB youth who
come from highly
rejecting
families are
more than 8
times as likely
to have
attempted
suicide than LGB
peers who
reported no or
low levels of
family rejection
(Ryan C, Huebner
D, et al - Peds
2009;123(1):346-352)
LINKS:
Suicide and LGBT
Populations
Suicide
Prevention, Awareness & Support
Suicide
Prevention Resource Center
Healthy Place: Stopping Gay Teen Suicide
TYLER CLEMENTI UPDATE
Father's
Post-Verdict Plea
March 2012
The father of
Tyler
Clementi, the Rutgers
freshman who died by suicide in September
2010, made a statement and a plea after the
verdict was delivered in the trial of Dharun
Ravi. Joe Clementi spoke about “changing the
values and behavior of young people in the
important areas of respect, privacy,
responsibility in a digital world.” He
says, When you see somebody doing something
wrong, tell them, “That’s not right. Stop
it.”
Here are some of
his remarks:
"The trial was
painful for us,
as it would be
for any parent
who must sit and
listen to people
talk about bad
and
inappropriate
things that were
done to their
child. We were
here every day
because we
wanted to be
here for our son
and because we
believe the
trial was
important
because it dealt
with important
issues for our
society and for
our young people
today and
because of
worldwide media
attention that
was brought to
it. The criminal
law is important
because it deals
with conduct
that we find so
bad, that we
make it a
crime."
"We have come to
understand that
the criminal law
is only one way
of addressing
these problems
and that there
are other ways
that are better,
particularly
when it comes to
changing the
values and
behavior of
young people in
the important
areas of
respect,
privacy,
responsibility
in a digital
world."
"As you know,
our lives have
taken a new
turn, and we’re
on a mission to
address these
issues in an
affirmative way
through the
Tyler Clementi
Foundation,
which we have
set up in memory
of our son. We
hope that the
media attention
will not fade
and that
positive efforts
on these
important issues
will be
acknowledged.
Just a word
about personal
responsibility."
"To our college,
high school and
even
middle-school
youngsters, I
would say this:
You’re going to
meet a lot of
people in your
lifetime. Some
of these people
you may not
like. But just
because you
don’t like them,
does not mean
you have to work
against them.
When you see
somebody doing
something wrong,
tell them,
That’s not
right. Stop it.
You can make the
world a better
place. The
change you want
to see in the
world begins
with you."
LINK:
Video and Text
of Tyler
Clementi's
Father
IT
GETS BETTER
Song & Lyrics by
Jay Kuo & Blair Shepard
Hey friend / When you feel like
you're alone /
And the world throws out a lot of hate
It's not the end /
You're not out there on your own /
There's still so much in life to celebrate
Just look up / Because those skies are going to clear
There so much more than just the here and now
Just look up / because a better day is here
Tomorrow feel the sunlight shining down
It gets better, better, better /
The pain will let up, let up, let up
If you fall just get up, get up, get up / Because there's
another way
It gets better, better, better /
The world gets lighter, lighter, lighter
So be a fighter, fighter, fighter / Just live to see that day
Hey friend /
We used to feel like you /
No end in sight /
Fearing everyday
Just defend the part of you that's true /
Find yourself and you will find the way
Don't give up /
Just take another look /
And you can shine /
It's time you took the stage
Don't give up / Because your life is like a book /
All you got to do is turn the page
There are friends yet to meet
/
There are songs to be sung
There are beautiful sunsets / And battles are won
There's love to be found if you just stick around
Don't give up your life has just begun
It gets better, better, better /
The pain will let up, let up, let up
If you fall just get up, get up, get up / Because there's another way
It gets better, better, better /
The world gets lighter, lighter, lighter
So be a fighter, fighter, fighter
It gets better, better, better
END
THE HATE
Wearing Purple to
Support Gay Teens on Oct 20
October 2010
When Tammy Aaberg wears her
purple T-shirt that says "End
the Hate" on Wednesday, October
20, she'll be thinking of her
son Justin. He killed himself
after he was bullied at school
for being gay.
"We are losing too many kids.
This has been kept silent for
too long," says Aaberg, 36, of
Fridley, Minn., a Twin
Cities suburb.
She is joining hundreds of
thousands of young people across
the USA who will be wearing
purple Wednesday, October 20 to
call attention to the deaths of
six youths who committed suicide
after they were bullied or
harassed because they were gay
or were thought to be gay.
A
Facebook page in honor of the
victims shows 1.4 million people
say they will take part.
One of those being remembered is
Justin Aaberg, who was 15 when
he hanged himself in his room July
9, 2010. His last Facebook post
said, "If you really knew me, no
one would like me," his mother
says.
Her son never told her of the
emotional pain he was in, but
gay people hear so many epithets
and cruel remarks that they
start to believe them, Aaberg
says.
She says the observance can go a
long way to helping young gays
and lesbians realize they are
not alone if they see a teacher
or other students wearing purple
in support.
"It will make them feel better
about themselves," she says.
Gay, lesbian and bisexual youth
are four times as likely to
attempt suicide as straight
young people, says Laura
McGinnis, a spokeswoman for the
Trevor Project, a national
organization focused on suicide
prevention for lesbian, gay,
bisexual and transgender (LGBT)
youth.
She says it's unclear whether
there has been an increase in
suicides by gay and lesbian
young people but the issue has
gotten more attention. More
suicides are being recognized by
family, teachers and friends as
being the result of bullying or
harassment because of sexual
orientation, she says.
Eliza Byard, executive director
of the Gay, Lesbian, Straight
Education Network, which works
to end bullying of gay and
lesbian students, says nine out
of 10 LGBT young people
experience physical or verbal
harassment.
Joey Twomey and Jason Galisatus,
17-year-old friends from San
Mateo, Calif., say they've
experienced name-calling because
they are gay. Both plan to wear
purple on Wednesday.
Twomey says that when he goes to
class at his all-boys high
school, where he's the only
openly gay student, he'll be
looking around to see who else
is wearing purple. It will be a
sign of who supports him, he
says.
"I'd like to see some teachers
come to school in purple," he
says.
Galisatus, president of the
Aragon High School Gay Straight
Alliance, says he can identify
with the isolation and pain the
suicide victims felt. Seeing a
classroom full of purple would
help gay students see they have
allies, he says.
"It says, 'I am
here for you.' "
(From
Marisol Bello, USA Today)
LINKS:
Ladies of The View Show Support
for Gay Teens on Spirit Day
It Gets Better: Theme Song for
The Trevor Project
USA Today Video About "It Gets
Better" Campaign
USA Today Article About TV Movie
About Lesbian Teen and Her High
School Prom
GAY
STUDENT SUICIDE AT RUTGERS
Tragic Death of
Tyler Clementi
September 2010
Tyler Clementi committed suicide
September 22, apparently after
discovering that his Rutgers
University roommate, Dharun
Ravi, and friend Molly Wei,
live-streamed Clementi in a
sexual encounter with another
male student without his
knowledge, a lawyer for the
Clementi family announced.
Clementi's family attorney, Paul
Mainardi, said that after
learning of the violation of his
privacy Clementi jumped off the
George Washington Bridge, which
connects New Jersey with upper
Manhattan. Clementi's car, cell
phone and computer were found
near the bridge and his wallet
was found on a walkway on the
bridge.
There was reportedly no note at
the scene, but
ABC News reported that
Clementi left a final goodbye on
his Facebook page that read
"jumping off the gw bridge,
sorry."
Investigators have not confirmed
the suicide because no body has
been found, but sources within
the investigation told the
Star-Ledger that witnesses say
they saw him jump.
Ravi and Wei were charged with
illegally taping Clementi having
sex and posting the images on
the Internet, after they turned
themselves in to the campus
police.
According to investigators, the
first incident happened Sept. 19
when Ravi set up a web cam in
the room to capture Clementi and
his partner after Clementi asked
to have the room alone for a few
hours.
"Roommate asked
for the room till midnight. I
went into molly's room and
turned on my webcam. I saw him
making out with a dude. Yay,"
Ravi said on his Twitter page in
a Sept. 19 entry posted at 6:17
p.m., according to the
New Jersey Star-Ledger.
Ravi allegedly broadcast that
encounter but investigators
would not say what video site it
was posted to.
A
few days later Ravi allegedly
tweeted to his 150 followers
telling them to "chat" him on
iChat, an instant messaging
sight with live video feed, the
Star-Ledger reported.
"Anyone with iChat, I dare you
to video chat me between the
hours of 9:30 and 12. Yes it's
happening again," Ravi wrote
Sept. 21.
The next day Clementi's
belongings were found on the
bridge.
Steven Goldstein, chairman of
the gay rights group Garden
State Equality, said in a
statement Wednesday that his
group considers Clementi's death
a hate crime.
"...We are sickened that anyone
in our society, such as the
students allegedly responsible
for making the surreptitious
video, might consider destroying
others' lives as a sport,"
Goldstein said.
The accused were classmates at
West Windsor-Plainsboro High
School North in Plainsboro, N.J.
If
convicted of the third degree
offense of transmitting or
distributing the images they
could face up to five years in
prison each under state law. A
fourth degree conviction for
collecting the images could mean
up to 18 months in jail,
according to the Middlesex
County Prosecutor's Office.
County Prosecutor Bruce Kaplan
had no immediate comment about
additional charges in the wake
of Clementi's death.
LINKS:
CBS News: Tyler Clementi Suicide
NPR News: Student's Suicide is
Deadly Reminder of Intolerance
NY Times: Private Moment Made
Public, Then a Fatal Jump
Huffington Post: Rutgers Student
Commits Suicide
REMEMBERING ASHER BROWN
Teen
Student Kills Self After Years Of Gay Taunts
David and Amy Truong
are looking for justice after their 13-year old son,
Asher Brown, committed suicide in September 2010
after being relentlessly bullied at his Houston-area
school.
In addition to taking
on his religion and fashion sense, Brown's peers
took to - you guessed it - calling him "gay." Things
became so bad that Asher
shot himself to death.
The Truongs say they
called the school to tell officials about the
bullying. The school, for its part, insists no such
calls every happened, but the distraught parents
aren't giving up.
"I did not hallucinate
phone calls to counselors and assistant principals.
We have no reason to make this up. It's like they're
calling us liars," said Mrs. Truong, while her
husband insisted, "We want justice. The people here
need to be held responsible and to be stopped. It
did happen. There are witnesses everywhere."
Now, Asher's parents
hope to use his death as a lesson: "Our son is just
the extreme case of what happens when (someone is)
just relentless," insisted Mrs. Truong, before
turning her attention to the bullies, "I hope you're
happy with what you've done. I hope you got what you
wanted and you're just real satisfied with
yourself."
And I hope the accused
are apprehended and, yes, brought to justice: the
tide of bullying needs to stop, period, and
perpetrators need to know that their words can
indeed break bones, and lives.
On a related note, the
National Education Association will hold a talk
called "Addressing the School Environment and LGBT
Safety through Policy and Legislation." Hopefully
they'll come to some definitive conclusion on how to
stem bullying, and perhaps
Dan Savage can help, because this rubbish needs
to stop - period.
(From Andrew Belondsky /
Toleroad)
ANTI-GAY BULLYING
Remembering Carl J.
Walker-Hoover
On April 6, 2009, an 11-year old
Massachusetts boy, Carl Walker-Hoover, took his life after enduring
constant bullying, including anti-LGBT bullying. Though Carl did not
identify as gay, his story is a tragic reminder that anti-LGBT bullying
and harassment affects all students.
Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, a junior at
New Leadership Charter School in Springfield, hanged himself after
enduring bullying at school, including daily taunts of being gay,
despite his mother's weekly pleas to the school to address the problem.
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